Turn Back Time (The Full Circle Series Book 1) Read online

  She had believed in their dreams and in their future.

  Until he blindsided her last year with his letter.

  After reading it countless times, shocked and hurt beyond words, she had shoved it in the book. The two belonged together, since they marked their beginning and their end.

  Now, with shaking hands, she unfolded the single sheet of paper again and read a few sentences. For the last time—as she had already promised herself so many times.

  July 2017

  I’ve been in Budapest for a few weeks now…makes me think about us…We’ve been together for two years now…I don’t have the right to ask you to wait for me any longer…

  And the one when he shoved her off the cliff—and out of his life.

  I have to let you go.

  She didn’t need to read more; she had the letter memorized. Stella replaced it in its envelope, then slid it back in the book.

  What’s wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself? She only re-opened old wounds which were barely starting to heal. She had lost count of how many times her family and friends encouraged her to move on. With little to no success. David still held her heart hostage.

  What would it take to free herself from his hold on her heart and soul?

  How much longer would she torture herself with what-ifs and whys? And when would she accept that not every story had a happy ending?

  There was only one thing she regretted. She should’ve demanded an explanation.

  Stella caressed the cover with her fingertips. The way she used to caress his body...

  She jumped out of the chair. Enough! It was time to move forward. There had to be a way for her to be happy without David.

  Determined to start a new phase of her life, her first step should be letting go of the book. Maybe the smart thing would be to throw it away. Or ritually burn it in the fireplace.

  No. Burning it would amount to sacrilege. Books had always been an important part of her life. Even as a little girl, she had cherished the feeling of them and loved the sound of flipping through the pages.

  Her mother used to take her to the library every week, and Stella never tired of the musty smell of hundreds of books. While her brother, Luca, usually asked for a new baseball bat or a fancier skateboard, her birthday and Christmas wish lists were for new books. While her friends were trying on clothes or costume jewelry at tag sales, she was hunting for book treasures.

  Old books tell more than one story.

  She liked to imagine the previous owner’s life, and whether the book had played a special role in it. Did other children sit in a corner of their closet as she did, hoping to go on adventures with Pippi Longstocking or fight the evil White Witch?

  Stella paced up and down the living room.

  “What am I going to do with you if I can’t throw you out?” she said, her nose still stuffy thanks to her cryfest, and tapped her fingers on the dark red cover. Yes!

  Taking two steps at a time, she ran to the bedrooms on the second floor. Yanking open the closet doors in the smaller of the two rooms, she reached for the plastic bin hiding in the corner and pulled it out.

  Before she could change her mind, she opened the lid, put the book at the bottom, rearranged the rest of the items on top, and replaced the lid with a resolute click.

  There. It could rest with everything else she didn’t have the heart to part with—yet. Maybe someday everything would be consigned to a ceremonial fire.

  Her eyes fell on the silver and gold bracelet on her left wrist, the tiny crystals sparkling in the star charms. Stella reached for the clasp, then dropped her hand.

  No, I’m not parting with you as well. One step at a time.

  The ticking of the wall clock in the hall reminded her to check the time. Oops!

  Today was Storytime-with-Stella at the Family Center, where she volunteered every Wednesday afternoon. The children would be the perfect distraction after her trip down memory lane and pity party.

  After splashing water on her blotchy face in the bathroom, she hurried down the stairs and picked up the book she planned to read to the four- and five-year-old kids. She couldn’t wait to see their reaction to the book about a pigeon who wants a puppy.

  Stella silenced her cell phone and tossed it in her purse. The world wouldn’t come to an end if she couldn’t be reached for a few hours.

  She grabbed her keys and was on her way to the Family Center.

  The next two hours went by in a blur. While she read to the kids and afterward kept them busy with coloring a picture or doing a simple craft project, the exhausted-looking moms were enjoying free coffee or tea, getting advice from the counselors if needed, or sometimes just putting their feet up for a moment.

  As expected, most of the children shared their hopes for a puppy or a new toy in not-so-hushed voices while they doodled inside and outside the lines with earnest expressions.

  Manny, a serious five-year-old, showed her his drawing and said, “Look, Miss Stella, I remembered the book you read last week. About the boy with a monster under his bed.”

  She saw he had not only colored the pigeon and drawn a puppy, he also added a pair of eyes in a corner of the page. She pointed to them. “You must’ve liked the book if you’re still thinking about it. Do you think he only imagined the monster?”

  “Maybe… I don’t know.” He thought for a moment, wrinkled his forehead, and puffed out his chest. “I’m not afraid of monsters and ghosts, Miss Stella. They aren’t real. Nobody believes in them!” He paused and scrunched his face again. “But it would be fun to have one to play with when I’m supposed to sleep. That’s why I added the eyes.”

  Moments like this reminded her why she enjoyed this age group so much. The way they still got lost in the imaginary world of books warmed her heart.

  On her way home, she enjoyed the summer afternoon while she walked past the old cemetery of St. Peter’s Episcopal Church.

  She paused a moment to gaze at the Osage orange trees in the churchyard. They were said to have grown here since 1804, after Lewis and Clark sent the first seeds to Thomas Jefferson. The original trees were long gone, but a lot of time and effort went into taking saplings from the current trees and growing new ones. The trees were so enormous their roots lifted nearby gravestones and markers.

  Stella’s mind went back to her mini ritual of burying her book. Would it ever see the light again? She shook her head. It was time to let the ghosts of the past go, to shove them under the bed, like Manny’s imaginary monster friend.

  Turning the corner of her street, she saw Naomi sitting on the stone steps in front of her home, picking at the abundant weeds growing in the flowerpots on both sides of the stairs.

  “What brings you here in the middle of the afternoon?” she called out when she was closer.

  “Let me in and I’ll tell you! And hello to you, too.” Naomi pushed to her feet and picked up a small gift bag. She dangled it in front of Stella’s face. “I have a sur-priiiise for you.”

  Stella unlocked the front door and let Naomi step inside.

  Even after living here for three years, she often marveled at the beautiful townhouse. Luca and his best friend, Revan, took advantage of the low real estate prices right after the Great Recession and bought two adjacent fixer-uppers after they graduated from college. They removed most of the first-floor walls between the two homes and converted the space into an airy, open living area with dark gray tile floors and white walls with built-in bookshelves. Framed black-and-white prints of photos taken by Revan on his many travels as a documentary photographer adorned the walls.

  When Stella announced her intention to leave Boston and move back home with a brand-new PhD in Library and Information Science, Luca suggested she stay with them until she made her own living arrangements. Which suited her, because living with her parents again at twenty-seven didn’t hold much appeal. Shortly after she moved in, Luca accepted a position at a news agency in New York and r
elocated, and she took over his two bedrooms. She paid him minimal rent and enjoyed living in a house she wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise.

  She walked to the gray and white modern kitchen and held up a paper box. “I must’ve sensed you were coming, because I stopped at the deli on my way home. Would you like coffee with your raspberry turnovers?” Knowing the answer, she stuck a pod into the coffee machine and arranged the treats on a platter.

  Naomi sat on one of the barstools at the long glass and steel kitchen island and reached for one of the freshly baked triangles sprinkled with coarse sugar. “Ooh, they’re still a little warm. Yummy.”

  After taking her first bite, she narrowed her eyes and asked, “Why don’t you answer your cell phone? Where is it?”

  “Oh, darn it! I silenced it before I went to Storytime and forgot to turn it back on.” Stella got it out of her purse. Yup, three missed calls, all from Naomi.

  The decadent aroma of fresh coffee wafted in the air, and Stella set the first cup in front of her best friend before making her own.

  “What’s so important that you left work and waited here for me? You know I’m at the Family Center on Wednesdays. You could’ve called me there.”

  “And risk the wrath of Mighty Anna? She’s the perfect office manager for that place. I mean, she’s nice, but she’s getting bossy when it comes to the kids and her schedules. Or maybe she just doesn’t like me.” Naomi waved the thought away like a pesky fly and took a deep breath. “Anyhow, wanna know my surprise?”

  “Sure, I can see you’re almost bursting.”

  “You and I are going to France, missy,” Naomi swished her finger back and forth between them, then finished her raspberry turnover.

  CHAPTER 5

  Stella—July 2018

  “W

  e’re doing what?” Stella dropped the spoon she was using to stir her coffee, and it clattered to the tile floor and slid under the fridge.

  “As you know, Mom and I were supposed to go on a business trip to France,” Naomi started.

  “How could I forget?” Stella parodied Naomi. “Going on a four-day trip to Normandy, Brittany, and a few of the Loire Valley castles. Meals complete with delicious French wines included. Pretty much all paid for by the trip operator.” She switched back to her own voice. “Maybe you mentioned it once or twice. It sounds like a wonderful trip. I wish I could go.”

  “I just told you! You’re coming with me,” Naomi said with a smirk. She opened the gift bag and handed Stella a travel guide for France. “I happen to know you have the next two weeks off with no plans.” Stella didn’t correct her. She had planned to visit Luca for a few days.

  “I hope your passport is valid.”

  “It is, but…”

  “Here’s the thing. Well, it’s two things. Gram fell yesterday and sprained her ankle badly. Mom doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone for a week, especially because Aunt Mary is in New York visiting Jo. So she thought you might wanna take her place and go with me.” Naomi took another turnover and beamed at her.

  Stella shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment. An unexpected trip to France was hard to top! What a wonderful surprise after her earlier emotional roller-coaster ride.

  Maybe it was the result of her Bury-the-Book-in-the-Bin ceremony. Had she freed a genie? If she got one free wish, what would it be? Easy—she’d want to see David one more time.

  She snorted. Yeah, fat chance.

  “What’s so funny?” Naomi asked and licked sugar off her fingers.

  “Ugh, I had a crappy day earlier.”

  “Which brings me to the second reason why I came this afternoon. I’d be a lousy friend if I didn’t cheer you up on the blackest day of your year.” Naomi squeezed her hand, then said, “So, do you have to clear our trip with anybody? The Mighty Anna, maybe?”

  “No, I know Anna will cover for me, and Luca won’t mind if I cancel our plans. He’s done it to me a few times. What do we need to do next?” She rubbed her hands together. Never in a million years would she have dreamed of something like this happening. She was so lucky to have Naomi as her best friend.

  “Our plane leaves Friday evening, so we’ll have to hustle to put your travel information into the system. I’ll call the airline as soon as I’m back at the office and transfer Mom’s ticket into your name. I contacted them already and explained the circumstances.”

  “Sounds great. Let me know what I owe you.”

  “If there’s a fee, Mom covers it, since she’s the one who’s dropping out. She has insurances for everything. Anyway, we’ll have two days in Paris on our own, and meet with the group on Monday morning. The days in Paris aren’t included in the tour. We need to pay for meals and sightseeing, but Mom covered the hotel.”

  “That’s very generous of your mom. I’ll have to think of a way to thank her.”

  “Oh, shush, she wouldn’t hear of it. She wants us to have a good time.”

  For the next half hour, they chatted about what kind of clothes to pack and googled the weather forecast. Should they bring euros, or exchange money in France? Would they have the opportunity to dress up in the evenings?

  After Naomi left, Stella ran upstairs and pulled out her suitcase. A week-long vacation was exactly what she needed. Her memories wouldn’t be able to follow her there.

  CHAPTER 6

  Stella—July 2018

  “W

  ho comes up with those weird names for nail polish?” Naomi turned a small bottle of indeterminable color upside down and squinted. “It’s called ‘After Dark.’ Is this green, black, brown, or purple? It should be called ‘Mudslide in a Bottle.’’’

  “Have them put it on one nail and decide if you like it.” Stella picked up a bottle of dark pink nail polish. “This is pretty…it looks like cherry blossoms. ‘Shower with Flowers.’ The name’s kinda cute.”

  The owner of the nail salon waved them over and they settled into the massive massage chairs, sliding their feet into the heavenly-smelling warm water.

  Naomi sighed. “This is one of my favorite moments! And the foot massage.”

  “I guess I like everything about pedis. Okay, are you ready to party?” Stella held up two cold mini bottles of champagne, then filled the two glasses she had stashed in an insulated lunch bag. “To friendship, to fun, to new journeys! To us!”

  “To us! Speaking of journeys,” Naomi said after taking a sip, “We’re all set for our flight. The plane departs at 9:15, and we need to be there three hours earlier.”

  “Perfect. What do I owe you?” Stella relished the sensation of tiny bubbles exploding on her tongue and watched the spectacle as they floated around in her glass.

  Naomi waved the comment away. “I told you the trip is all covered. In Paris, we can take turns paying for meals and sightseeing, or we’ll square up afterward. Mom said she’d drive us to the airport, and we’ll pick you up at 5:30.”

  “I’ll be ready. Since I’m packing my suitcase tonight, I only have to water my plants and take the garbage out. I think Rev is coming home on Sunday or Monday, and I want to stock the fridge with some prepacked cheese and cold cuts for him. But knowing him, he’ll just go to the deli to grab something to eat.”

  She noticed Naomi’s eyes lighting up at the mention of Revan’s name. She knew her friend had a huge crush on him for many years, but Rev either didn’t notice or deliberately ignored it. Stella wished there was something she could do.

  The thought almost made her burst out laughing. What a ludicrous idea. She hadn’t fought for her own relationship with David last year, so playing Cupid in her friend’s love life would only end in disaster.

  “Do we have to change planes somewhere? What time will we be in Paris?” She tried to redirect her thoughts to their trip.

  “No, it’s a nonstop flight. We’ll arrive at Charles de Gaulle airport at 10:30 on Saturday morning. I notified the hotel about checking in early, and I hope they’ll have our room r
eady. And then,” Naomi took another sip, “we’ll explore Paris! Paris nous voilà!”

  “Paris what? My high school French is very rusty. You’ll have to translate for me, but don’t show off all the time, okay?” She chuckled.

  “Don’t you worry. You don’t need to say a word! Just look all innocent and smile like an angel, and all the Frenchmen will melt at your feet.”

  “Stop it.” Stella swatted Naomi’s arm. But she was only half joking—she did wish Naomi would leave the topic alone.

  On her way home the next day, Stella picked up an arrangement of peonies and roses for Naomi’s mom as a thank-you for letting her go on the trip and for driving them to the airport.

  With just a few minutes to spare before she would be picked up, she went through her checklist. Windows and doors locked, plants watered, coffee machine unplugged, suitcase and carry-on by the door, book and iPhone charger in purse, passport—check, check, check.

  She was ready for a change of scenery!

  By 7 pm, they sat in comfortable club chairs in the business class lounge, snacking on appetizers from the complimentary buffet and sipping champagne.

  Stella noticed several men looking at Naomi, who seemed oblivious to their stares. Being 5’9” and having a toned body, Naomi could pass for a model right out of Women’s Health magazine. Her looks often seemed to invite men to assume she was arm candy, but nothing could be farther from the truth, and she knew it hurt Naomi when men treated her like a brainless dummy with great boobs. It was no surprise when she dropped the jerks like hot potatoes after a few dates.

  “Yoo-hoo…Earth to Stella… Didn’t your mom teach you it’s rude to stare at other people? Even if it’s just me?”

  Stella grimaced. “I’m sorry, Nam. I guess I spaced out thinking how comfortable you look in this environment. And then I thought about how different you and I are in some respects, and how we complement each other in others. Like Yin and Yang.”